Dadventions #2 – The Smelliscope™

The Problem:  As we all know, babies fart and poo A LOT. It can happen any time, any place (see for example my earlier blog – A Poo At The Swimming Pool*), and the constant fear of an impending poonami is one of the most stressful parts of parenting. One of the biggest challenges we parents face on daily basis is identifying whether the noise emanating from the rear of our darling little one is of the gaseous or viscous variety. Whereas an “airborne toxic event” can be left unattended with limited wider ramifications (aside from the antisocial pong), the physical manifestation of said smell via a nappy-based explosion if left unaddressed can lead to far greater torment, staining, nappy rash and tantrums down the line. The official tireddaddy.co.uk position on the “finger test” is that for hygiene reasons this should be avoided at all costs, and so usually a quick sniff of the posterior and assessment of the power of the stench will provide the required data to know whether it is change time. However, one of my wife’s (MANY) frustrations is that during breast feeding this just is not possible… How can a breastfeeding Mum accurately and conveniently delineate windy-pops from a horrendous bummy sloptastrophe?

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The Solution: I give you “The Smelliscope™”. A simple nasal periscope, that can be positioned on the mother’s nose, then arching round the happily feeding baby, where a funnel entrance is placed on the sweet spot between the buttocks. The Smelliscope™ then channels the fumes up the pipe into the mother’s welcoming nasal receptors, enabling her to quickly and accurately identify the solidity of the source of the stink. Problem solved.

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Bonus Uses: Other Dad specific uses for the Smelliscope™ include providing a convenient way to sniff for underarm BO without lifting ones arms, amplification of the delicious smell of fresh coffee or baked bread, and checking the status of those hard to reach mould plantations at the back of the fridge.

 

* https://tireddaddyuk.wordpress.com/2016/05/29/a-poo-at-the-swimming-pool-a-moral-tale/

 

 

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