Six of the most terrifying baby inventions ever

Becoming a Dad brings with it a number of significant changes to one’s mental state.

One such change is the sudden belief that, despite all evidence to the contrary, you are now a master scientist, innovator and inventor – a DIY ninja and world-class fixer of all things.

In my case, as anyone who knows me will testify, this could not be further from the truth.

However, my complete inability to operate a screwdriver notwithstanding, I have been working on a number of potential Nobel prize winning inventions that I think could change the lives of parents and children everywhere.

Over the coming few weeks I am going to share some of these with you here on in a new series called #DadVentions, but first, to set the scene I thought I would share a few other inventions that were bought to my attention by a friend of mine who runs the fabulously geeky blog Patents Rock (




Terrifying fake baby head to display lost baby hair and teeth….



A horrific, grinning, decapitated doll that is designed to sit in the corner of your baby’s room, displaying hair and teeth that have fallen out.

I am not really sure what to think about this, apart from that it is genuinely one of the most horrifying things I have ever seen.

If you get this for your child, you are guaranteeing them a future of nightmares and possibly sever and violent psychological disorder.


Terrifying bunny syringe


Why not take the fear out of injections with this fun invention?… Because it is TERRIFYING! That is why!

Guaranteed to not only make inoculations an even more scary thing for a baby, but also to create an deep rooted fear and mistrust of all cute animals for ever.


Terrifying self patting baby device



Strap this wonderful invention to the side of the cot, and then no need to stay up all night patting your baby on the bum.

Is this a thing people do?

To me this looks like some kind of weird BDSM spanking device.

Whatever it is, it is horrible and disturbing!


Terrifying centrifugal force birthing bed



Seriously! Someone invented this!

What better to aid the birthing process than being strapped to a bed that is spinning at high speed to help propel the baby out with ease….

Wow. Just Wow!


Terrifying Nappy Changing Table



Had enough of your baby being able to move and wriggle when you are trying to change his nappy?

No problem… just strap him down, chain his ankles and voila, a permanently psychologically damaged baby is all yours!


Terrifying Bed-Cot-Beetle-Iron-Lung Thing!



Babies love sleeping next to their mummies in bed.

What they don’t love, is being trapped in the belly of a horrific giant beetle.


Anyway, hope you enjoyed these… for more visit the source article at Cracked –

And don’t forget to follow @patentsrock for more geeky invention fun.




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