For most parents Calpol is viewed as some kind of magic potion. A sweet sticky miracle cure that will calm an unhappy baby, lead to blissful disturbance free nights and generally makes everything in the world better… But for my little family the truth is something far less idyllic.
Calpol + Baby = Projectile vomiting of hooligan-suppressing-water-cannon proportions
Our son had his latest batch of inoculations this week, and as normal he has been a bit under the weather following the injections, with a mild temperature and generally grumpy grizzles. As per the advice of the nurses we have been administering regular doses of Calpol… Or at least TRYING to administer Calpol, as we have a problem… Our son HATES the stuff.
When we try to squirt it into his mouth he instantly spits it straight out again, sometimes surreptitiously with a little dribble, sometimes spectacularly with explosive projectile vomiting.
Now to be honest, I can’t say I blame him for having this reaction. Calpol has all the qualities of something you would find on the floor of a student union toilet the morning after a freshers week pound-a-drink vodka red bull night – sickly, gloopy, sweet and stomach churning of texture and taste. It looks, smells and tastes like the result of particularly avant garde Masterchef entry, a post-modern dessert made from mixing a liberal splash of wallpaper paste with a dash of jus-de-nasal mucus, served with a Haribo Tangfastic reduction and soupçon of cherryade foam. I dread to think what Marcus Waring would make of it….
Couple with this the administration method – squirting into the side of the mouth with a weird syringe thing that looks like it has come straight out of the Russian secret service’s cookery kit for inserting polonium 210 into Japanese delicacies- and I can see why my son hates it so much.
However, this leaves us with a problem. It seems that Calpol is the only thing we can give him to ease his temperature, and if he won’t swallow it, what can we do? When he had a small vomiting bug a few weeks ago the doctor gave him a Calpol suppository (a process he enjoyed surprisingly) and so this could be a solution – but does anyone know if these can be bought over the counter? Also, I am not sure how I feel about putting my finger up his bum every 4 hours… After all, I have seen what horrors come out of there (see my numerous earlier post about his pooing!)
So, this is an appeal for help. Has anyone else out there had this problem? If so, please do get in touch via Facebook or Twitter or you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with your tips.
Thanks in advance.
Tired Daddy x