Day 3: Seven things I have learned in the first three days of fatherhood…

  

1. Baby wipes are a man’s best friend: No matter how sticky the poo, no matter how squirty the pee, the baby wipe is up to the task. If I am ever on Dessert Island Discs a pack of Johnson’s Baby wipes will be the first thing on my “luxury item” list!
2. No two midwives are the same: They can be lovely, they can be scary, they can be like friendly aunts or like sadistic witches, the key thing I have learned is that they hold your fate in the palm of their hand, and they know it. One word of advice to anyone who has issues with their midwife – stand up to them. It’s their job to care for your wife and baby, make sure they do!
3. Baby urine and open wounds on daddy’s hand are a painful combination: need I say more! Ouch!!!!
4. The French make the best baby clothes!: Petite Bateau vests are great. (Pictured on the left above) Not only are they chic and glamorous (which is of course exactly what my 3 day old son requires!) but importantly they open up down the front, making changing time a relative breeze. Highly recommended to avoid 3am tears and poo smears.
5. Asda sell really good cookies: This is pretty much what I am living on at the moment (thanks to food parcels from my mother in law). Long term this may not be the best policy for my waistline, but short term… It’s keeping me awake, and that’s pretty much all I can ask for. 
6. Foreign language TV can be a late night life saver: Subtitles = not waking the baby. Thank you Channel 4 for your “Walter Presents” strand – Deutchland 83 is currently my 4am viewing selection. 
7. Everything is terrifying: everything is scary, every gash, gulp, cough and whimper… But boy is it exciting too!